It was a rainy night
And all the windows were tight
And there were thirteen people in the house
The owner and his wife
The butler and his wife
Cook with her knife
A couple named Smythe
The Andersons were there
With another strange pair
And the scary caretaker and me

The clock struck one, there was the sound of a gun
And I heard somebody run away
And the twelve who were alive had terror in their eyes
And I overheard the Andersons say
Who could have done it?
Who could have done it
And I wonder where's the cook and her knife
Madam, said Adam, with his wife by his side,
It was the shot we heard that took her life

The other couple named Sloan and I ran to the phone
To call the police, but just then
All the power went out
And we heard a great shout
And we knew for some-one else it was the end
And when the power came on
We were shocked with alarm
For instead of being twelve we were ten
Who could have done it?
Who could have done it?
The Andersons were such a nice pair

Now the owner and his wife
Both afraid of their life
So they hurried to the door to run away
But before they got there
There was a whistle through the air,
Then another, then they both had passed away
There were seven of us let now
Afraid of death now
But I knew it wasn't me or the Sloans
Cause when the power went out
And we heard the others shout
We were out there in the hallway on the phone

That left the butler and his wife
And the couple named Smythe
And the old scary caretaker too
So the Sloans and I
Who were both afraid to die
Had to think of something quick we could do
So we called the Smythes
And the butler and his wife
And we gathered in the drawing room
But before we could call for the caretaker too
It was too late for he had met his doom
It looked like poison

That left five, five, five were still alive
The Sloans, the Smythes and myself
Once again the lights went out
and I heard a great shout
From both the Smythes and the Sloans
And then the light went on again
And I looked around again
And everybody was dead
And I was alone...

Well, I must have past out
For the next thing I knew
I was awakened with my hands in chains
There was a man with a gun
And he said don't bother son
You'll have plenty of time to explain

I was rushed to a car
Then taken to a cell
And a lawyer came in and said his name
He said I'm sure you told the truth
But the truth is my boy
To believe it the judge would be insane
Now before I pass sentence on you
Have you anything to say?
I said, are you kidding?
I said, this must be a dream
I said, this can't be real
you don't believe a word that I have said

And then he looked me in the eye
And said have mercy on his soul
And I was hanged
By the neck
Until dead
Have mercy

Hey
Wait a minute, hey stop
Would you mind rewinding that last sentence
I mean, hang by the what?
Until when?
Hey, listen. I think you made a little
I mean I think you made a large mistake here

First of all
I was in Colorado,
Having breakfast with a nun, okay?
What do you mean, there is nothing to get hung up about
I mean, you should be up here
Hey, have you ever heard of the word appeal?
Well, I'm about to appeal you of that bench in a minute
Unless you change that decision
Listen, I got a lot, I mean I had a lot of friends in this town
Hey I want to see my congress, man.